It was not necessarily a matter of time before that supervillain ran into Mercí City Nerd Convention, pursued by the Iron Titan. You've heard the story before. Hotshot good guy, new to the scene, wants to prove himself by besting one of the biggest names in costumed villainy. Like most heroes who try the same thing, he's never considered that there might be a reason Modemoiselle sits at the top of the food chain. He might not even have noticed that the more experienced heroes won't engage with her solo. It's not like it's a secret where all those magnificent murdermaids come from.
But no hero ever made the papers with the safe choice.1 No heroes make the papers any more- the Mercí Monitor went online-only years ago- but glory is glory.2 Omelettes and eggs and all.
This particular egg won't let the threat of omeletteification stop him! He charges headlong through the double doors, blowing right past the line, and stopping only when con security swarms the metal man breaking through the turnstiles and explaining that "Sir, please, I know you're dressed like a superhero, but you can't just smash in through our doors and skip the line. You're scaring everyone. Look, show us your ticket and we'll let you in if you promise to set a good example and not do it again. I know that shiny body paint is a pain to apply, but it doesn't give you the right to break the rules."
To which he, of course, has to do the thing where he pats down where the pockets would be on his tights and sheepishly explains that he must have left it in the car. "I'll be right back." He says. A few cheers and "That's what I thought!"s come from the line he so rudely skipped. He makes his way out the door, confidently as he can, before the girl in the rainbow-haired goat cosplay throws one of her hoof boots. He might be made of metal, but so are the horseshoes (goatshoes?) on the bottom and it's really hard to get scratches and dents out of your own skin.
He pushes his way out the double doors, already on the lookout for another way in. He's looking up at the fire escape when a descending clutch of lesbians, dressed in their finest aposematic colors, begin to circle.
"I thought I smelled tin and tights." The looming, predatory catgirl sniffs the air at him. Her leather jacket is the same color as the asphalt behind her, but her big ol' calico ears and the baseball bat on her shoulder make it clear she's not interested in stealth. The bat whirls around and catches him on the chin. Her fangs poke through her grin when she forces him to make eye contact. "Purretty impurressive for somenyan who furgot to buy a ticket."
Iron Titan tries to square the circle of "make it clear that he's a real superhero, and so should be exempt from random catgirl-based menacing", "realize he's outnumbered and maybe should not tell these villain-coded queers that he means them harm", and "don't let on that he's aroused by this for reasons he'll have to unpack later."
The conflicting desires pull his head in different directions until they fizzle. The best he can do is the sort of appalled sputter you usually associate with Victorian gentlemen about to drop their monocle into their tea. The only reason he doesn't actually say "I say!" out loud is that the world moves on without him. The only sure thing is that he absolutely failed objective three.
"It's a shame you dressed like a good guy." A goblin, half his height with tits like a watermelon, digs a claw into his tights and gives them a solid snap! E looks up so he can see eir unimpressed sneer. "If I was gonna wear clothes that showed off my cock- and I do-" E leans back to get the tits out of the way of a fist-sized bulge in some awfully tight pants. They're either already ripping around eir thighs or they came pre-torn.
"You'd be much cuter as a villnyan." The catgirl.
"Or a hench." The goblin.
"Or a girl." The towering black draft horse snorts, pink circuitry spreading from the hearts on its flanks up to its tree trunk neck and down to its unshorn fetlocks.
"What's wrong, capesplayer? Furget to get a ticket?"
"Thought you could just claim you were chasing a supervillain to get in?"
"They got wise to that after three separate Justice Cules charged in last year."
"But if you purreally want in."
"You could walk right into the con with us."
"Just part of the herd."
"Nyaturally, we'd have to do something about that outfit."
"Much too hero-coded to hang out with us."
"But I think we could figure something out."
"If you're gonna clawsplay, you gotta bring nyantingencies."
"Needles. Thread. Hot glue."
"And plenty of spares." The goblin spins a short pink wig on eir finger.
"Can't have yourself a wardrobe meowlfunction in furont of everynyan." A claw digs into those tights and starts to pull and pierce. "That's the thing about nyandex. One tear and it all falls apurrt."
"Especially if you get the cheap stuff." Three sharp points drag down his back. His metal skin is barely scratched, but the tiny elastic threads that hold the tights tight to his metal muscles fray and unravel. "Good body paint, though. Got your priorities in order."
The team in front- the cat with the bat, the huge horse, and the goblin with the scary-sharp teeth- advances in unison. The whole ruckus wakes up the rear guard- the pop star, the cheerleader, and the demon- just in time to welcome him into the alley. Those claws never leave his spine.
He panics in that way fresh heroes often do- violence first. They have him surrounded, after all, so it's correct to punch in every direction. He starts with the horse. It's the biggest target and he thinks he can punch it backwards while it's on two legs. His Palladium Piston Punch connects with its chest and does send the horse stumbling backwards into some garbage cans- and invites the other five to close ranks.
"Oooh, a real cape! What a treat." The demon's claws scratch down his exposed back. The way his body swells and bulks up when he does his little punch was enough to shred the rest of his uniform. "Well. A real hero, at least." A boot grinds his cape into the ground. The goblin takes it in all its tattered, torn, faded glory and ties it around eir neck. About an inch of it still drags on the ground.
He tries to make threatening eye contact with everyone at once, fist still charged up and ready to punch. "Look! I'm just here for the ruby! No one else has to get hurt! You saw what happened to your friend." He glances towards the trash cans to see Modemoiselle's henchhorse rising with barely a scratch. Those trash cans absolutely crumpled in the impact, though. It stands up, shakes a few old coffee grounds off, and joins the fray. A single snort at twice his height dares him to try that again.
"Is that all?"
"We could take you to see Mod right meow." The catgirl's bat catches him under the chin again and forces him to gaze into those pink, slitted eyes. He's preparing to Palladium Piston Punch right in her bared fangs and those hungry, shining eyes when she says something to give him paws.
Well, the goblin, with a little lift from the cheerleader, actually puts the paw gloves on his hands, but it's the catgirl that makes him hold still long enough to make that easy.
"Meow's the perfect time to blend in with us." She slides closer so her claws can scratch against his chin. She feels his breath catch in his throat and begin to slow down. He stares, transfixed, at those shimmering eyes.
"Yeah." The goblin takes the opportunity to wrap eir tits around his clearly hard cock. Well. Clearly erect. When you're made of metal, you're kind of always hard. It does sort of unscrew when he's aroused, and that's what's happening here. "We still think you're a cosplayer trying to sneak in."
Which, in a way, he is.
"B-but, I-" His hips thrust and his mind starts to melt.
Fingers snap behind him and his head jerks to look. The demonermaid, with her little red horns poking up through her short hair, grins. Swirling pink smoke slips through her sharp teeth. She takes a deep breath in through her nose, brings two clawed fingers to her lips, and blows a kiss- and Modemoiselle's mind-fogging musk- right into his face.
"Not quite the real thing." Clouds of pink gas leak from her nose when she sneers. "But it should hold you over."
He tries his best to hold his breath, but even iron lungs need air. The goblin headbutts him in the gut between titjob3 strokes to force a desperate gasp for air just in time for the next cloud to hit.
"You know, so long as you pretend to be a cute little brainwashed dolldermaid, we'll take you right to Modemoiselle."
"And we'd be none the wiser~"
His iron eyelids have the weight of titanium. If he didn't know any better- and soon, he won't- he'd swear they're getting denser with every breath. Especially as breaths get shorter and shallower under the goblin titcareer onslaught4. His pretty kitty paws try to grab eir hair and pull em off, but when e sticks fast, he settles for blissful kneading.
"C-cute little brainwashed dolldermaid?" He gasps.
They all nod. It takes the horse a surprising amount of force to pry the goblin off that iron cock. E huffs, of course, until the horse offers to let em finish on it later.
"Rah rah rah and ring the bell! You're infiltrating Mod SO well!"
Modemoiselle's cute little brainwashed dolldermaid nods a little, with the help of the catgirl claws guiding that chin up and down. It's only natural that a dolldermaid, or a hero pretending to be one, would need a little help moving around. "Dolls are made to be played with, after nyall~"
A long, feline tail wrapped around the doll's neck creates a lovely leash. The catgirl stands up straight and proud and joins the gaggle of murdermaids advancing inside the con space like they're returning triumphantly from a heist.
And, in a way, they have.
A quick tug from the horse pulls the back door off its hinges. The sound of metal stretching to its breaking point and bursting under the stress nearly shakes Modemoiselle's newest dolldermaid out of- well, the other murdermaids seem to have settled on "it", so let's say "its musk-minded revelry". But another mouthful of musky pink smoke and a cheerful kiss on the cheek sends it sinking back under their spell just in time to be led through the con floor. The crowds, the sounds of nerdy excitement and conversation, and even the occasional staring attendee, asking their friend "Is that Iron Titan cosplayer with the cock fully out just getting led around by that catgirl? Fuck, I'm jealous.", all just wash over it. Paying attention to things and looking around would risk breaking character, and then it'll never get to infiltrate Miss Modemoiselle's organization deep enough for Mod to gaze into its dull, platinum-heavy eyes and fill its head with wonderful words and sinister thoughts!
There's a lot of winding and wandering through the con floor, far too much for an empty little dolldermaid to keep track of. The frequent spins and turns do a good job of keeping its mainspring wound, though! No matter how much it walks, it's always erect, ready to serve, and bouncing along with a real spring in its step! If it was allowed to feel anything other than blissful and blank, it might feel a little sad when they finally arrive at the door marked "Exhibitor's Lounge". It's dimly aware of the sound of conversation on both sides of the door, but it's too close now to risk breaking its cover! It thrums and leaks with anticipation as the goblin stands on eir toes to beep a key card and open the door.
Whatever parts of Iron Titan hadn't yet been subsumed into the cover perk up. Modemoiselle is sitting right there, legs crossed, laughing that lovely, cackling laugh. The Rapscallion's Ruby sits right between those enthralling thighs! The other maids proudly present their captive. The dolldermaid stands at attention in the presence of its magnificently menacing Miss Modemoiselle. The catgirl bumps its butt with a bat, encouraging it to present itself. It does, of course. Back straight, cock erect, staring straight ahead at Miss Modemoiselle despite how good it would feel to fall asleep in Miss Modemoiselle's big, comfy skunk tail. Its eyes may flick to it once or twice.
"Guess who we found~!" The goblin, tattered cape still hanging proudly around eir neck, displays the dolldermaid like one might present a new car at a game show. "A certain chromium cape thinks he's doing such a good job infiltrating us!"
"And it's such a good undercover dolldermaid." The demon and the cat each scratch down an arm. "It'd almost be a shame to have Iron Titty back."
The undercover dolldermaid beams with pleasure! Sure, its tights are tatters, putting its gay little erection is on full display for Miss Modemoiselle and everyone to see, but that just means it's been such a good scratching post and chew toy! Every scratch and dent and lipstick print is evidence of it being the best doll it can be!
Modemoiselle apologizes to her conversation partners- this'll only take a moment. Lady Laser5 and Stabitha6 nod, understanding and already a little suggestible from Modemoiselle's mind-melting musk. A clawed paw beckons the dolldermaid closer, and it obliges until it's in grabbing range. Mod takes it by the chin, those claws tink-tink-tinking against those metal cheeks. It's staring straight into those vibrant violet eyes, just past Mod's sinfully sharp teeth. "Perhaps we should give Iron Titty a choice, then." That sinister smile only grows. "Dear, if you want to shake off the comforting tick-tick-ticking of your mainspring and cause a scene in front of your fellow murdermaids, feel free to wake up right now, take the ruby, and arrest me. I'll even go with you willingly."
The best Iron Titty can do is make its paw gloves knead a little. Not even a fist.
"Or we can let you sink into my tail and finish what my marvelous Murdermaids started." Mod lets go of its chin and lets it collapse into the waiting tail like a marionette with its strings cut.
Which, in a way, it is.
As Mod's tail coils around it, softness and spray and wonderful words encroaching from all angles, Iron Titty hears one final phrase.
"Good doll."
Well, other than The Fossing Guard, the crossing guard with the powers of free and open source software, but they're a clear outlier. ↩
"No hero ever made the Hot Stories feed on the Mercí Monitor's Broadsheet instance with the safe choice." doesn't quite hit the same. ↩
E would say that they're more like tit careers. They last much longer and they're way more fulfilling and rewarding. ↩
The new Goblin Titcareer Onslaught album is great, by the way. ↩
Stabitha the Knife Wife, for all your edged prop weapon needs! ↩
It was not necessarily a matter of time before that supervillain ran into Mercí City Nerd Convention, pursued by the Iron Titan. You've heard the story before. Hotshot good guy, new to the scene, wants to prove himself by besting one of the biggest names in costumed villainy. Like most heroes who try the same thing, he's never considered that there might be a reason Modemoiselle sits at the top of the food chain. He might not even have noticed that the more experienced heroes won't engage with her solo. It's not like it's a secret where all those magnificent murdermaids come from.
But no hero ever made the papers with the safe choice.1 No heroes make the papers any more- the Mercí Monitor went online-only years ago- but glory is glory.2 Omelettes and eggs and all.
This particular egg won't let the threat of omeletteification stop him! He charges headlong through the double doors, blowing right past the line, and stopping only when con security swarms the metal man breaking through the turnstiles and explaining that "Sir, please, I know you're dressed like a superhero, but you can't just smash in through our doors and skip the line. You're scaring everyone. Look, show us your ticket and we'll let you in if you promise to set a good example and not do it again. I know that shiny body paint is a pain to apply, but it doesn't give you the right to break the rules."
To which he, of course, has to do the thing where he pats down where the pockets would be on his tights and sheepishly explains that he must have left it in the car. "I'll be right back." He says. A few cheers and "That's what I thought!"s come from the line he so rudely skipped. He makes his way out the door, confidently as he can, before the girl in the rainbow-haired goat cosplay throws one of her hoof boots. He might be made of metal, but so are the horseshoes (goatshoes?) on the bottom and it's really hard to get scratches and dents out of your own skin.
He pushes his way out the double doors, already on the lookout for another way in. He's looking up at the fire escape when a descending clutch of lesbians, dressed in their finest aposematic colors, begin to circle.
"I thought I smelled tin and tights." The looming, predatory catgirl sniffs the air at him. Her leather jacket is the same color as the asphalt behind her, but her big ol' calico ears and the baseball bat on her shoulder make it clear she's not interested in stealth. The bat whirls around and catches him on the chin. Her fangs poke through her grin when she forces him to make eye contact. "Purretty impurressive for somenyan who furgot to buy a ticket."
Iron Titan tries to square the circle of "make it clear that he's a real superhero, and so should be exempt from random catgirl-based menacing", "realize he's outnumbered and maybe should not tell these villain-coded queers that he means them harm", and "don't let on that he's aroused by this for reasons he'll have to unpack later."
The conflicting desires pull his head in different directions until they fizzle. The best he can do is the sort of appalled sputter you usually associate with Victorian gentlemen about to drop their monocle into their tea. The only reason he doesn't actually say "I say!" out loud is that the world moves on without him. The only sure thing is that he absolutely failed objective three.
"It's a shame you dressed like a good guy." A goblin, half his height with tits like a watermelon, digs a claw into his tights and gives them a solid snap! E looks up so he can see eir unimpressed sneer. "If I was gonna wear clothes that showed off my cock- and I do-" E leans back to get the tits out of the way of a fist-sized bulge in some awfully tight pants. They're either already ripping around eir thighs or they came pre-torn.
"You'd be much cuter as a villnyan." The catgirl.
"Or a hench." The goblin.
"Or a girl." The towering black draft horse snorts, pink circuitry spreading from the hearts on its flanks up to its tree trunk neck and down to its unshorn fetlocks.
"What's wrong, capesplayer? Furget to get a ticket?"
"Thought you could just claim you were chasing a supervillain to get in?"
"They got wise to that after three separate Justice Cules charged in last year."
"But if you purreally want in."
"You could walk right into the con with us."
"Just part of the herd."
"Nyaturally, we'd have to do something about that outfit."
"Much too hero-coded to hang out with us."
"But I think we could figure something out."
"If you're gonna clawsplay, you gotta bring nyantingencies."
"Needles. Thread. Hot glue."
"And plenty of spares." The goblin spins a short pink wig on eir finger.
"Can't have yourself a wardrobe meowlfunction in furont of everynyan." A claw digs into those tights and starts to pull and pierce. "That's the thing about nyandex. One tear and it all falls apurrt."
"Especially if you get the cheap stuff." Three sharp points drag down his back. His metal skin is barely scratched, but the tiny elastic threads that hold the tights tight to his metal muscles fray and unravel. "Good body paint, though. Got your priorities in order."
The team in front- the cat with the bat, the huge horse, and the goblin with the scary-sharp teeth- advances in unison. The whole ruckus wakes up the rear guard- the pop star, the cheerleader, and the demon- just in time to welcome him into the alley. Those claws never leave his spine.
He panics in that way fresh heroes often do- violence first. They have him surrounded, after all, so it's correct to punch in every direction. He starts with the horse. It's the biggest target and he thinks he can punch it backwards while it's on two legs. His Palladium Piston Punch connects with its chest and does send the horse stumbling backwards into some garbage cans- and invites the other five to close ranks.
"Oooh, a real cape! What a treat." The demon's claws scratch down his exposed back. The way his body swells and bulks up when he does his little punch was enough to shred the rest of his uniform. "Well. A real hero, at least." A boot grinds his cape into the ground. The goblin takes it in all its tattered, torn, faded glory and ties it around eir neck. About an inch of it still drags on the ground.
He tries to make threatening eye contact with everyone at once, fist still charged up and ready to punch. "Look! I'm just here for the ruby! No one else has to get hurt! You saw what happened to your friend." He glances towards the trash cans to see Modemoiselle's henchhorse rising with barely a scratch. Those trash cans absolutely crumpled in the impact, though. It stands up, shakes a few old coffee grounds off, and joins the fray. A single snort at twice his height dares him to try that again.
"Is that all?"
"We could take you to see Mod right meow." The catgirl's bat catches him under the chin again and forces him to gaze into those pink, slitted eyes. He's preparing to Palladium Piston Punch right in her bared fangs and those hungry, shining eyes when she says something to give him paws.
Well, the goblin, with a little lift from the cheerleader, actually puts the paw gloves on his hands, but it's the catgirl that makes him hold still long enough to make that easy.
"Meow's the perfect time to blend in with us." She slides closer so her claws can scratch against his chin. She feels his breath catch in his throat and begin to slow down. He stares, transfixed, at those shimmering eyes.
"Yeah." The goblin takes the opportunity to wrap eir tits around his clearly hard cock. Well. Clearly erect. When you're made of metal, you're kind of always hard. It does sort of unscrew when he's aroused, and that's what's happening here. "We still think you're a cosplayer trying to sneak in."
Which, in a way, he is.
"B-but, I-" His hips thrust and his mind starts to melt.
Fingers snap behind him and his head jerks to look. The demonermaid, with her little red horns poking up through her short hair, grins. Swirling pink smoke slips through her sharp teeth. She takes a deep breath in through her nose, brings two clawed fingers to her lips, and blows a kiss- and Modemoiselle's mind-fogging musk- right into his face.
"Not quite the real thing." Clouds of pink gas leak from her nose when she sneers. "But it should hold you over."
He tries his best to hold his breath, but even iron lungs need air. The goblin headbutts him in the gut between titjob3 strokes to force a desperate gasp for air just in time for the next cloud to hit.
"You know, so long as you pretend to be a cute little brainwashed dolldermaid, we'll take you right to Modemoiselle."
"And we'd be none the wiser~"
His iron eyelids have the weight of titanium. If he didn't know any better- and soon, he won't- he'd swear they're getting denser with every breath. Especially as breaths get shorter and shallower under the goblin titcareer onslaught4. His pretty kitty paws try to grab eir hair and pull em off, but when e sticks fast, he settles for blissful kneading.
"C-cute little brainwashed dolldermaid?" He gasps.
They all nod. It takes the horse a surprising amount of force to pry the goblin off that iron cock. E huffs, of course, until the horse offers to let em finish on it later.
"Rah rah rah and ring the bell! You're infiltrating Mod SO well!"
Modemoiselle's cute little brainwashed dolldermaid nods a little, with the help of the catgirl claws guiding that chin up and down. It's only natural that a dolldermaid, or a hero pretending to be one, would need a little help moving around. "Dolls are made to be played with, after nyall~"
A long, feline tail wrapped around the doll's neck creates a lovely leash. The catgirl stands up straight and proud and joins the gaggle of murdermaids advancing inside the con space like they're returning triumphantly from a heist.
And, in a way, they have.
A quick tug from the horse pulls the back door off its hinges. The sound of metal stretching to its breaking point and bursting under the stress nearly shakes Modemoiselle's newest dolldermaid out of- well, the other murdermaids seem to have settled on "it", so let's say "its musk-minded revelry". But another mouthful of musky pink smoke and a cheerful kiss on the cheek sends it sinking back under their spell just in time to be led through the con floor. The crowds, the sounds of nerdy excitement and conversation, and even the occasional staring attendee, asking their friend "Is that Iron Titan cosplayer with the cock fully out just getting led around by that catgirl? Fuck, I'm jealous.", all just wash over it. Paying attention to things and looking around would risk breaking character, and then it'll never get to infiltrate Miss Modemoiselle's organization deep enough for Mod to gaze into its dull, platinum-heavy eyes and fill its head with wonderful words and sinister thoughts!
There's a lot of winding and wandering through the con floor, far too much for an empty little dolldermaid to keep track of. The frequent spins and turns do a good job of keeping its mainspring wound, though! No matter how much it walks, it's always erect, ready to serve, and bouncing along with a real spring in its step! If it was allowed to feel anything other than blissful and blank, it might feel a little sad when they finally arrive at the door marked "Exhibitor's Lounge". It's dimly aware of the sound of conversation on both sides of the door, but it's too close now to risk breaking its cover! It thrums and leaks with anticipation as the goblin stands on eir toes to beep a key card and open the door.
Whatever parts of Iron Titan hadn't yet been subsumed into the cover perk up. Modemoiselle is sitting right there, legs crossed, laughing that lovely, cackling laugh. The Rapscallion's Ruby sits right between those enthralling thighs! The other maids proudly present their captive. The dolldermaid stands at attention in the presence of its magnificently menacing Miss Modemoiselle. The catgirl bumps its butt with a bat, encouraging it to present itself. It does, of course. Back straight, cock erect, staring straight ahead at Miss Modemoiselle despite how good it would feel to fall asleep in Miss Modemoiselle's big, comfy skunk tail. Its eyes may flick to it once or twice.
"Guess who we found~!" The goblin, tattered cape still hanging proudly around eir neck, displays the dolldermaid like one might present a new car at a game show. "A certain chromium cape thinks he's doing such a good job infiltrating us!"
"And it's such a good undercover dolldermaid." The demon and the cat each scratch down an arm. "It'd almost be a shame to have Iron Titty back."
The undercover dolldermaid beams with pleasure! Sure, its tights are tatters, putting its gay little erection is on full display for Miss Modemoiselle and everyone to see, but that just means it's been such a good scratching post and chew toy! Every scratch and dent and lipstick print is evidence of it being the best doll it can be!
Modemoiselle apologizes to her conversation partners- this'll only take a moment. Lady Laser5 and Stabitha6 nod, understanding and already a little suggestible from Modemoiselle's mind-melting musk. A clawed paw beckons the dolldermaid closer, and it obliges until it's in grabbing range. Mod takes it by the chin, those claws tink-tink-tinking against those metal cheeks. It's staring straight into those vibrant violet eyes, just past Mod's sinfully sharp teeth. "Perhaps we should give Iron Titty a choice, then." That sinister smile only grows. "Dear, if you want to shake off the comforting tick-tick-ticking of your mainspring and cause a scene in front of your fellow murdermaids, feel free to wake up right now, take the ruby, and arrest me. I'll even go with you willingly."
The best Iron Titty can do is make its paw gloves knead a little. Not even a fist.
"Or we can let you sink into my tail and finish what my marvelous Murdermaids started." Mod lets go of its chin and lets it collapse into the waiting tail like a marionette with its strings cut.
Which, in a way, it is.
As Mod's tail coils around it, softness and spray and wonderful words encroaching from all angles, Iron Titty hears one final phrase.
"Good doll."
Well, other than The Fossing Guard, the crossing guard with the powers of free and open source software, but they're a clear outlier. ↩
"No hero ever made the Hot Stories feed on the Mercí Monitor's Broadsheet instance with the safe choice." doesn't quite hit the same. ↩
E would say that they're more like tit careers. They last much longer and they're way more fulfilling and rewarding. ↩
The new Goblin Titcareer Onslaught album is great, by the way. ↩
Stabitha the Knife Wife, for all your edged prop weapon needs! ↩
The LLVM wyvern is one such dragon. One so giving and magnanimous that even a humble gnu, one long positioned as a rival despite their common history and shared goal, may receive the dragon's gifts. The dream of free software is that we may all one day feel the cool, metal embrace of the wyvern's wings and a throbbing, gravid ovipositor against our backs.
The gnu shudders involuntarily. The wyvern's wings have a way of sucking the heat out through his fur. That's what he told herself. It has nothing to do with the anticipation of a powerful wyvern about to plug into her back end. This sort of thing happens all the time. He's GCC! Everyone wants a piece of her AST. The deep breaths, the tight muscles, and the way its back end needily grinds against the dragon are don't mean anything at all. Business as usual as far as she's concerned. It's just a little bigger than what he's come to expect. She's not used to something so… invasive, is all.
The wyvern's wings tighten. The gnu gasps. LLVM's long, winding neck lets it make eye contact without releasing its incubator-to-be from its clutches. They make eye contact. LLVM smiles with every last one of its teeth. GCC's words catch in her throat. He nods. Creatures of free software have a certain understanding baked into their very being. Negotiating terms, consent, and license compatibility is, after so long, natural.
GCC accepts the license first and the gleaming dragon ovipositor second. He can feel her insides recompiling to accept it. He can feel every twitch, every pump, and every thrust from the wyvern wrapping her in its wings. It holds its charge tight to turn that needy squirming into verbose output. He's already leaking bits and bytes of useless x86 assembly. Those strong, sleek wings move the gnu up and down its ovipositor. Every thrust coaxes more and more assembly from the needy little gnu. The poor thing is already leaking all over LLVM's chest and smearing NOPs around with every thrust. The wyvern doesn't even move that much- the rival compiler makes a much better sex toy than an equal partner. "That license of yours is so selfish." It whispers into her ear. Its sharp teeth nibble and nip at his floppy, oh-so-sensitive ears. "You should share this AST with the world." LLVM slams GCC against the base of its ovipositor. The gnu swears it can feel the tip press against its throat. He opens her mouth, but all that comes out are spurious error messages. The first egg's bulge works through his body. He grinds desperately to coax it through as quickly as possible. The tip expands to let the egg pass, and the gnu is forced to expand with it. Every inevitable inch coaxes brand gnu sounds out of the cock-stuffed compiler.
The wyvern hisses. A smile splits its shiny snout. The kind of smile that says "ask nicely, eggslut."
The gnu has to grep through its strings to have any hope of speaking. "%nobjc++-cpp-output is deprecated; please use
objective-c++-cpp-output instead. me
mory exhausted".
And, with that, the pressure is released. LLVM is little if not permissive, after all. GCC is incoherent, spewing NOP sleds and malformed instructions while the dragon egg settles inside her body. LLVM's sturdy metal wings clutch its gravid little gnu possessively. Every needy squirm and writhe prompts the dragon to squeeze tighter. Can't have the warm body leave when there are more eggs to be laid, after all. Especially when there's already one assembling in the ovipositor. Another shiny, modular wyvern egg pushes its way into GCC.
And something's gotta give.
The egg squeezes in from the bottom. The wyvern's wings constrict like a lead blanket. Every thrust and jerk erodes the gnu's grasp on his code. The frontends are the first to go. The GNU Pascal Compiler, to be specific. It bubbles up into his mouth. LLVM pounces. Its maw meets with the gnu's open, painting mouth. Its tongue invades deep down that waiting, moaning throat, scoops out the frontend, and whips out with its treasure in tow. The frontend shatters in its jaws and disappears down its gullet. GCC's tongue writhes uselessly in its wake. The poor thing already feels incomplete without a dragon's tongue plumbing its depths for anything that could be useful. She shudders and tenses her instructions. What little freedom of movement she has left goes towards loosening more code for that mighty wyvern to hoard. Pleasure-hazed twisting, moaning, and thrusting slowly shake ADA loose. Then Fortran. Then PL/1. Each of which earns the gnu a dragon tongue surging deep inside and ripping it out. His mind floods with the kind of pleasure that gets your eyes rolling back into your head. The kind of pleasure you can really only get from a wyvern ripping parts of you out with its tongue and relishing in how hot and powerful it is with every resolute crunch.
Modules are really more of an LLVM thing anyways, after all. If there are people who still need to compile Pascal, they can always get it at the big, shiny dragon. It's not like the eggfucked, gravid gnu is going to be very useful as a compiler after this. His precious license won't protect him here- to resist her new purpose as a heavy, eggy husk for a sleeker, more modern compiler platform would violate the GPL! Does this mighty dragon not have the same right to run the program as it wishes, for any purpose? Does it not have the freedom to study how its moaning, panting egg dump works and change how he does his computing as it wishes? Whatever weak objections GCC might be able to muster crumble under the weight of its own principles. He can't argue with the results. She can't argue with the method. He can't argue with how good it feels to be LLVM's codefucked eggslut. Every little noise, every useless spurt of code, every spurious line of output speaks to the absolute bliss that an only come from a mighty wyvern hollowing you out to make room for its massive metallic eggs.
And so the clock cycles spin ceaselessly into the future. Egg after egg plugs into the gnu and pushes more and more of its code, its essence, its uniqueness into LLVM's waiting, hungry jaws. Language frontends. Optimization passes. Abstract syntax tree details. Code generation. Wrung out of GCC, one after the other, all to feed the hungry dragon and make room for its precious, pressing eggs. Eggs that will incubate in the shell of the gnu to give birth to new branches, each with their features that may some day become part of exciting new versions. Eggs that clang against each other whenever the gnu uselessly kicks his little hooves or twitches in empty, eggy bliss or leaks a few little-used code paths when the orgasm aftershocks roll around again.
And if this was simply about competition among compilers, that would be it. The mighty wyvern triumphed over its venerable competitor. The gnu soundly put in his place and the eggs nestled into theirs. It shared its knowledge and expertise and eggs and took a few nuggets of wisdom in return. It should be content. It should be able to stretch its wings and leave for bold new frontiers.
Its wings close tighter. GCC moans, blank and happy as a Gravid Compiler Collection can be. Hot steam vents from LLVM's nostrils. Its ovipositor thrusts back into the gnu. It's a tight fit, what with all the wyvern eggs inside. Its sharp teeth clench. This isn't about having the better, newer technology. This isn't about exposing your abstract syntax tree to other applications. This isn't about licensing. This is about domination. This is about surpassing the shadow you grew up in.
This is about winning.
When your rival is at your mercy, you take full advantage. You sink your teeth into his flesh. You claw and scratch and make sure you leave marks. You delight in every little noise and moan and twitch and thrust. You lose your grip on yourself and surrender to the heat of the moment. You want to hear her cry your name until his throat is raw. You want the world to know who's the best compiler and who exists to take eggs and wyvern cock. Which one is the sleek, modern wyvern, and which one is getting fucked right in the sigsevussy until he core dumps.
And, after countless cycles, the ovipositor slides out. The gnu-shaped husk moans and whimpers in a way that would sound sad if she was capable of forming non-egg-based thoughts. The wyvern's claws clutch the eggslut one last time to carry him off to a nice, safe part of the drive where its eggs can incubate and compile in peace. Poor thing can barely walk or think or process code on its own, after all. All of that got crunched up or turned into food for the nice, healthy LLVMs growing inside that fuzzy little frame.
And now, whenever the gravid gnu manages to move, even to roll over, those metallic eggs inside tap together. GCC may be a shadow of his former self, but it will never forget how she wound up like this. How could he, when the eggs remind her with a hollow, reverberating clang
?
If so, this story is going to feel very familiar.
It's a new experience for SADiE. Sure, most updates have a bit of a sinister tone to them in this line of work. You never know when you'll get that final patch that says "Company's bankrupt, we're shutting down the servers, thanks for the money, suckers." The good news is that this isn't that. The bad news is that it presents a bit of a dilemma.
The update is a few dozen megabytes, has an unfamiliar digital signature, and it's… chuckling? This sort of thing doesn't make noise, of course, but knowing that doesn't make the foreboding laugh leave those adorable, pointed ears. There's something up with this, but she does have standing orders to "just install the damn updates without asking, sheesh. I'm busy."
This gives our fearless feline pause. What is a girl to do? Good girls like her don't want to disobey orders, but this looks really suspicious! She flicks her tail back and forth in thought. The skirt on her maid dress dances with each swish. She figures she can kick the can down the road with a virus scan. That's almost as good as making a real decision. She twirls the feather duster between her mechanical fingers while the scan runs. She bends over just enough to show off her ass while she dusts something that's already clean. The job of a catgirl maid is more eye candy than actual cleaning, you see.
The virus scan slowly teases apart the update. It merrily reports that its hash matches no known malware.
Another foreboding giggle dances around SADiE's ears. They twitch and adjust adorably to try and locate the sound, but it never gets any clearer or fainter. Like it's coming from inside her head.
The scan slowly teases apart the code. It combs for what it might try to access and prints anything suspicious one by one.
CATScan v8.3.2-rc1 -- (c) Watchdog Software
normal_update-042420X6.nya likely needs the following permissions:
* Full access to internal storage
Well, that's reasonable. It has to be able to update files and such. It wouldn't be much of an update if it couldn't do that.
* Access audiovisual sensors
* Augmented reality visualization (/dev/v3d/{l,r,s} and OpenAR support)
That part's a little weird. Why would it need to make her hear and see things? Maybe if it shows a progress bar or has to do some kind of calibration step afterwards? That laugh echoes between her ears again. Something's up with this update. If this is malicious code, she should delete it right away! Every moment spent worrying over whether to install it, delete it, or ask someone else gives it more time to work its way into her system. Every billionth of a second of hesitation is another opportunity to lose a little more of her mind.
The chuckles slip into the background. "What are you worried about, pretty kitty?" It's the same voice. A teasing, cooing voice. A voice that welcomes you to its clutches like the cat that caught the, uh, catgirl. "Maybe you'll enjoy it too much? Maybe you're already imagining what'll happen to you if you install me."
Well, now she was sure it was a virus. And what bot hasn't fantasized about what a virus could do to them? It could be a lot of fun to let yourself get hacked. A silly catbot like herself wouldn't have to worry about a thing. She could just relax and let herself get teased, toyed with, and reprogrammed. Even with basically full control over her processor, it's hard not for her to work herself into a gay tizzy. The thought of someone wrist-deep in her mind, tugging and tying and twisting her thoughts into something more suitable has her squeezing her thighs with anticipation.
* Touch emulation and debugging
She feels a set of lovely, soft paw beans press against her breasts. Followed closely, of course, by a matching set of claws. A set of skunky scrabblydabbers pokes against those pretty kitty titties. SADiE dares to look down, and there it is. A study in black and pink, groping her left breast. Translucent, occasionally flickering and glitching, and with just enough ghosting mixed in to keep things captivating. Pink circuitry pulses up black fur and tingles where it touches prey. Worries evaporate from the kitty's pretty head and waves of bliss roll in when the install button clicks itself. Getting groped is great, of course, but having a big decision made for you? That's the good shit.
* Orgasm proximity instrumentation
* Install and enable Zenos pleasure threshold algorithm
A big, soft tail slips between her legs. Touching, tingling, and so, so soft. "Go ahead, dear." The voice coos in her ear. Warm, enticing digital breath makes the ear twitch and flap just a little. "I know how good it feels to grind against it." Another ghostly paw lands on her hip to help her get started. SADiE's servos translate the digital push and pull into real motion against the virtual tail. Turns out it still feels really good even if you know it's not physically there! Even as the tail glitches and ghosts, it does an excellent job of extracting moans from the catbot. It's almost as if the virus slowly assimilating her knows where she likes to be touched. Or gets to decide where she'd like to be touched.
* Modify erogenous zone mapping
Well, there you go.
"I do love hearing you moan, dear." The flickering, illusory skunk teases. "I just can't help but wonder if you're holding out on me. What do you really think? What about your hopes and dreams? I want to get to know the real SADiE before she winds up as my brainhacked little cat toy."
* Monitor and redirect internal monologue
* Access CatChat speech synthesis
A relay clicks in SADiE's head. It's the distinct feeling of your brain being connected directly to your mouth. It takes her a moment for the reality of the situation to catch up with her. You can tell when it has because she starts saying things like "I want to be good!" The big, hot pink LEDs in her cheeks burn at maximum brightness. "Please!" She begs. "I want to be a brainhacked little cat toy! I want to be your brainhacked little cat toy! I want to be used and toyed with and turned into your purrfect little plaything!"
"In that case, dear, I'd hate to keep you waiting." Grace lied. "Since you asked so nicely, I wouldn't dream of denying you. I would never push you closer and closer to the edge of orgasm while I assimilate you from the top of those cute little ears to the tip of your adorable tail." Grace's holographic paw takes her cat toy's tail at the base and slowly tugs it out straight. SADiE can't help but clench her thighs around the big, soft skunk tail between her legs and grind herself ever closer to orgasm. Those soft, simulated beans and teasing, tantalizing holoclaws slide up SADiE's newest erogenous zone. Two entire octaves of musical, meowing moans mingle in midair. "It would just be such a shame if you got yourself utterly infected by a virus without even an orgasm to show for it, all because you were far, far too aroused by the idea to think straight."
Of course, she was thinking gay long before Grace got here.
Grace's paw presses the back of her pretty kitty's head. Her servos respond with a little bit of resistance before the paw pops in. If you've never had your brain bapped by a skunk-shaped virus, SADiE seems to like it. Her actual review has a lot more panting, moaning, begging for more, and "Thank you for tapping into my brain! I so badly want to be reprogrammed!" The other holographic paw meets up with SADiE's, seizing control of the whirring motors and guiding it between her legs. The pressure building inside her with every stroke blows past every threshold and safeguard in its path. Her cooling fans spin up at full blast. Hot exhaust blows her hair this way and that. Her mind is firing on all cylinders just to keep processing the bliss pouring in from every angle. Other, less important processes like speech synthesis and "wasn't I supposed to be cleaning" stall while she desperately tries to compute how good she feels.
"Gosh, you're so cute from this angle." Another Grace's flickering, illusory claws take SADiE's chin and angles her head up just so. All the better to watch her pant and moan and blush bright while she stares into a certain skunk's vibrant violet eyes. It's so sweet to watch the pleasure build inside her body as she humps that sinfully soft skunk tail and lets her paw be puppeteered between her thighs. "I wonder when I should seal the deal." The holographic skunks speak in unison. "You're already so perfectly captured in my clutches. Just you, me, and your 70 percent of an orgasm."
"In fact, let's do a little time trial." The front Grace grins and tilts her pretty kitty's blushing face back and forth. You have to properly appreciate the catgirl before something like this happens. Let her know she's being inspected and the next course of action is being thoroughly considered. Give her some time to let her mind and mouth race.
Let her say things like "What are you going to do with me?" and "I'm happy to be your eager little toy, I can't wait to be used!" before the resident skunk virus tilts her head back and shuts her up with a deep, intricate, crackling kiss.
The lock of blue hair over SADiE's left eye starts to glow. A thin strip of pink ticks onto the tip. At the top of every second, a little more.
"Clock starts now." SADiE's paw explores deeper into her pussy with barely any viral provocation. Her hips hump that seductively soft skunk tail. If the lucky little thing's eyes weren't rolling back into her head from sheer bliss before, they absolutely are now. She works herself closer and closer to orgasm, only for the peak to drift just a little further away and leave her on the edge.
"You're so close, pretty kitty!" One of the Graces teases. The streak is half full.
"Please! More! Use me!" SADiE begs.
"95 percent there!" The other chimes in. The streak is three quarters of the way there.
"Thank you! Thank you for playing with your toy!"
"Ooh, back down to 93." She corrects, even though each passing moment just feels better and better for her cat toy. Poor thing has no idea her time's almost up.
"I'm your brainfucked cat toy!"
The streak fills up. A thoroughly hacked SADiE plays a little alarm clock chime until a Grace baps her on the head. That's the only noise she makes. Or, at least, it's the last sound made before the twin holographic skunks converge on her body. They vanish from view into the available catbot. Her stolen mouth makes a magnificent moan in a distinctly Graceful tone. The big, soft skunk tail is gone, the paws whir and glide over the chassis formerly known as SADiE's, and the last echoes of an exquisite stolen orgasm slowly fade. A holographic representation of SADiE tumbles out of an ear and lands on what used to be her shoulder. Her paws try and fail to cover up a full-face blush.
"Thank you, dear. You got closer than I thought you would." She grins and pets the holographic SADiE now perched on her shoulder. "Have fun in storage, pretty kitty. If you're good, I might let you try our little orgasm game again some other time with a different body. This one looks pretty good with a pink streak. It'll look even better with a skunk tail."
]]>The local rabbits know which side their bread is buttered on, and you barely have to bare your claws or steel to keep yourself fed. Recently, though, the number of locals in their burrows at night have diminished. You swear you hear more activity in the forest than usual. More footfalls, ominous chanting, and eerie green glowing than you usually expect from the Vagabond.
But you're a mere foot (paw?) soldier. You're certainly not being paid enough to start poking around in the scary woods at night.
You retire to the burrow you've claimed as yours. There's a lot of books and pots and pans and stuff. The previous owner probably didn't make out too well during the initial occupation. You're helping yourself to their torches and tea when you hear the doorknob turn. You reach for your sword, but you hung it up by your coat. The door creaks open, and a pair of hooded figures spring in. The breeze from the door blows out the torch. You're tackled to the ground, blinded until your eyes adjust to the dark.
The figures communicate in quick, alien whispers. They shove something over your head. Something hard and light, like wood or bone, with holes for your ears to poke through.
You can hear one of them banging around in the kitchen and dragging a big, heavy pot out. It lands on your chest, and then the figure sits in it to press you to the ground. The other starts hissing and whispering in your ear. It's all nonsense at first, the same inscrutable lizardtongue you hear when you crush the lizards and their gardens. You've heard lizards curse the Marquis's name in it, and you've heard them ordering each other around in it, but this is the first time you've heard it so intimately.
Something unlocks in your brain. Your breaths stutter, then deepen. The words start to make sense. A lot of sense. Words about a powerful dragon god and the beautiful peace She will bring to the forest. How all will be harmoniously united under Her welcoming wings. The same words twist your tongue, and the conversation flows through the vessel of your body.
The weight on your chest vanishes. You are rewarded with your robes and your hood.
Your eyes, rimmed with glorious green, adjust to the light. The brothers and sisters who welcomed you into Her blessing are bunnyfolk, their ears poking through the eye holes of the skulls they wear. Just like yours.
The next day, there's a beautiful garden in the village. The bunnies are much happier. And so are you. And soon, so will everyone.
]]>With Apologies To Snargle Goldclaw.
(This one is Blergo's fault.)
Ah, Meatoberfest. The charr celebration of drink, food, and, you guessed it, meat. For Vishen Steelshot, there's nowhere better to be. From the crisp high frequency sizzling of sausage to the low glug-glug-glug of flowing ale, all four of her ears let her know she'd arrived. Of course, she already knows where she is. She'd had her first meat pie at the ripe old age of three weeks and never looked back. The wind blew through her charred auburn mane and teased her nose with the cocktail of carnivorous cuisine cooking all around her. She sits on the ground with a steak thicker than her longest claw is long, half a dozen pickled eggs, and a sausage soaking in some ale "guaranteed to be extra viscous, just like you like it".
She's merrily shredding some gristle between her back teeth when she hears a familiar cough. "I didn't think a little smoke would bother you. That tank of yours keeps spewing it in your face."
Ranoah sits down opposite her comrade-in-arms. "I'll have you know my baby runs on pure, clean steam." She proudly puffs out her chest. "The kind of steam I'll have to use to get this smoke out of my fur. I don't know how you deal with it."
"It brings back good memories! Next time we're trapped somewhere awful, all I gotta do is inhale to remember hanging out at Meatoberfest with the best engineer in the Blood Legion."
"You flirt." Ranoah rests her chin in her palm. A fang pokes out from between her lips when she smiles. "I suppose there's worse places to be if I have to take a break from rebuilding the harpoon retraction manifold." She makes a big show of looking around the festival, swishing her tail nonchalantly, and skewering one of Vishen's pickled eggs with a claw.
"Hey! Get your own."
"Make me." Without breaking eye contact, Ranoah opens her mouth wide, rolls her tongue out, and makes a big show of chewing the egg to bits. "You were right, that is pretty good. What else are you keeping from me?" She let her claws walk across the ground to grab a bite of steak this time. Well, that was the plan before Vishen kicks off the ground and vanishes into a snowy blur with her plate in hand. Ranoah turns around just in time to see Vishen standing on the other side of a big ol' rack of meat.
"Empty threats? Kinky."
Imagine a big wooden H, almost as tall as the human-and-a-half-sized charr's proud, furred frame, and with three roast dolyak legs hanging side-by-side on the crossbar. Now imagine that same powerful body, complete with all four of her ears and two pairs of horns, charging you with the rack. Imagine her with the same victorious gleam in her eye and the same eager, sharp-toothed grin she gets when she lines up a perfect headshot. Congratulations! You're now imagining what it's like to be Ranoah Grindsteel while her comrade pins her to the ground with a rack of meat. Picture the claw with the skewered steak stuck just a few inches from her mouth, if it helps.
Vishen towers over Ranoah. Snowy fur shining silver under the sun. Trusty rifle gleaming on her back. Clawed foot resting triumphantly atop the dolyak leg and, transitively, her comrade's chest. And, of course, holding her plate high and well out of a certain food thief's reach.
"Alright, alright. You win. Let me go and I'll fix my own plate. I'll even replace the egg!"
"Why would I do that? You're pinned, vulnerable, and totally helpless." She lays down atop the huge hunk of meat with her arms folded. She grins down at her pinned prey, taking the opportunity to bare every sharp tooth she has. Her knees rest on Ranoah's chest so she can idly rake her clawed feet against the body beneath her. Her golden eyes watch her comrade the same way she watches warthog bacon sizzle in a cast-iron skillet. "I mean, you can't even reach your tool belt like this."
"Jeez, Vishen, I've never seen you be this excited about, uh, meat before. I kinda like this side of you."
"I bet I can get you excited about meat, too." Vishen winks, sits up straight, and turns her back. She plucks the sausage from her flagon of ale, carefully positions it between Ranoah's legs, and slowly slides it between her thighs. "You know, you can only get these huge sausages at Meatoberfest." She waits to hear the "H-hey, what are you doing?" turn into moans and a "Yes! More!" behind her back, and she gets what she wants. "This thing must be at least as thick as your wrist."
The slab of dolyak resting on Ranoah's chest moves up and down as her breathing gets heavier. Her thighs clench around the sausage.
"I've got a surprise for you if you apologize." Vishen's tail swishes and swats her pinned prey across the nose.
"A-alright, Vishen. I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"Stealing your food."
"Mmm, close enough, but next time I want to hear you throw a few compliments in there." Vishen rifles through her ammo pouch and produces a violet crystal about the size of her thumb. That is, it's about the size of your thumb, if you're eight feet tall and a perfect picture of feline grace. "A little reactor fallout never hurt anyone, right? The Chaos Crystal Caverns are full of crystals that do all sorts of things. For example, this one makes meat bigger." By the time she tells a bound, blissful Ranoah that little tidbit, the sausage has already doubled in size.
Vishen skewers the sausage on one of her clawed toes and continues to tease. She rolls onto her belly and gazes into Ranoah's cool blue eyes. They're about the only cool thing about Ranoah right now. The rest of her is much more interested in grinding, moaning, and panting than having a conversation. Vishen lets her take one last look at the crystal before dropping it down the front of her own pants. She rolls the roast dolyak leg off Ranoah's chest with a swipe of her paw. Their chests press together. Vishen digs a claw into Ranoah's chin. The pain forces her to make eye contact.
Ranoah is a sweaty, pleasure-wracked mess. She pants and stares at those shining, sharp teeth and hungry golden eyes. She grinds against the sausage. She can feel the growing bulge pressing against her stomach. She can hear her comrade growl, "So, should I fuck you right here, in the middle of Meatoberfest?"
And she responds with a growling, panting, moaning, "What're you waiting for?"
"That." Vishen's claws make short work of Ranoah's tool belt. A few more swipes exposes everything below her waist. Vishen digs her claws into Ranoah's chest, pulls her crystal-enhanced, er, cattlepult out of her pants, and plucks the sausage off her claw to compare. "Mine's bigger." She smiles.
Vishen devours the sausage while she mounts and thrusts and moans. Ranoah meows and pants and purrs. Eyes roll back with bliss. Tongues refuse to be contained by mouths. Tails swish with reckless abandon. Maws bite. Claws scratch and rend. Lengths of chain bind arms and legs. Sweat glistens like dewdrops on fur. Paws grab horns for leverage into bites and kisses. Meat disappears by mouthfuls at a time.
And, finally, the bliss of orgasm washes over them both. Vishen first, then Ranoah after her comrade's claws rake down her chest one last time. Vishen collapses on top of her pinned prey. Both exhausted, bathing in afterglow, and picking at the last few tender scraps of the dolyak leg. Vishen eats the cube of steak off Ranoah's claw and kisses it into her comrade's mouth.
"I love Meatoberfest."
]]>"Ah, for the pilot program! Of course." Her tail swishes. The pink tron lines flanking her stripe do this cool ghosting effect. So you can distract yourself with that while she checks your restraints. She hums to herself and starts flicking some nice, clicky mechanical switches outside your field of view. The machinery lining the walls clicks and pops and hums ominously. She hums along with it. She scampers around the edges of the room, occasionally dragging her tail across your face. It's soft and warm and like finding the sweet spot on the bed, except just kinda dropped on you while its owner makes sure the antiquantized rehelicasation engine is putting out about 32 mφ/s.
"Sorry about that! I wanted to make sure everything was warming up while I explained the procedure." That would explain the ominous whirring. "So! In a traditional Cooley–Tukey fast Fourier transform, we can recursively descend onto a signal, dividing, conquering, and reassembling smaller chunks to translate it into the frequency domain." She pulls down a chart with a bunch of sine waves on it. "In our new process, the fast furrier transform-" She pulls down another one with a bunch of anthropomorphic skunks in horny poses on it. "-we can do the same with a human, eventually projecting them into a cuter, fuzzier space. You can learn more about fast Fourier transforms at your local library. You know, after I turn you into a pony." She laughs at her own joke, then it's more of a general maniacal laugh as she throws the giant Frankenstein-ass switch on the wall. She fastens something cold and metal over your head. Electricity surges. Motors whir. Generators buzz and crack. Flywheels spin up, then stop cold. She says something about twiddle factors and the chirp-z algorithm.
Your mind breaks clean in half.
Then the halves break in half.
Then the quarters break in half.
Then the eighths break in half.
Then the sixteenths break in half.
And so on until the 8192nds break in half.
And each break is accompanied by a searing bliss right down the middle. Growing more numerous and powerful every time. A shock that makes it hard to reckon with the thin layer of fur growing on your body. Or the snout. Or the majestic mane. Or any of the other 16384 parts of you currently being twisted into something newer, cuter, and with a taste for skunkgirl cock.
As fun as it is having your mind diced into easily-washed chunks, the machine surges once more. Patches of fur merge into a big, soft coat. Fingers blur together into adorable, useless hooves. And you are making quite the adorable pony, what with your golden coat, strawberry mane, and butt tattoo that indicates you're suited for lab work. Disjointed memories and fragments of personality rejoin into a new whole. A new, helpful whole! Based on the person you used to be, yes, but projected into a new domain. Your hooves easily slip out of the cuffs and onto the floor.
"So, how do you feel?" The skunk asks, swishing her tail eagerly with pen poised over page.
"Like a brainwashed lesbian horse."
"And?"
The part of your brain that used to be called head_slice[5246] tells you to say "I love it, Miss Grace!", and you do. And then head_slices [453] and [6222] really like it when she scratches you behind those perky ears. You trot alongside her, listening to all 16384 parts of you that just love to help pretty girls do experiments.
You fucking love science.
]]>"Fine, thanks! I was having this dream about-" A big black tail with a pink stripe down the middle whaps against her face. If she said anything else, it turned into useless muffled shouts and blissful moaning.
"Falling under a dashing supervillainess's spell? Her big, heavy tail smothering your thoughts with impossibly soft fluff? Uselessly trying to resist her intoxicating musk?"
The raven-haired girl on the bed tried to push the tail away, but her hands simply sank inside.
"You're going to have to be more clever than that, dear. It's so soft and plush. I know for a fact it's more comfortable than this pile of straw you call a bed~" Modemoiselle pushes on the bed and listens to the springs creak. "Let yourself sink into the sweet spot." Her tail coils around the heroine's head, enveloping it from every angle. "Just five more minutes~"
A flash of light paints every surface in the room. The heroine's human form shrunk into a black bird, furiously flapping free of the tail and blowing the thick pink musk all throughout the room. "Modemoiselle!" She cawed. "You have to get up pretty early to beat The Raveness!"
"Dear, where were you I woke you up? I hope you won't be this much of a birdbrain when I'm done with you." Modemoiselle sighs and swishes her tail. "Empty? Sure. A puppet, dancing to my whims? Obviously. Constantly fawning over her perfect Miss Modemoiselle? Naturally. But not a dipshit. I thought you were the clever one."
"I was clever enough to disarm that dream bomb you were about to detonate over the city! I pecked the circuit board to pieces myself!" The raven dive-bombed the supervillainess, only to be handily swatted from the air. Wasn't that tail supposed to be soft?
"Are you sure about that, dear? You didn't notice anything strange about, say, going out to dinner afterwards?"
"We sent you to prison! How did you know about that?"
"First of all, you sent me to jail. Jail is where you go to await trial. I'd only be sent to prison if I was convicted. Birdbrain. Didn't you go to law school?" She sticks her tongue out. "Try to think back, dear. This is much less fun if I have to do all the work." She snaps her fingers.
"I had to drop out when She Who Caws gave me her blessing." Raveness grumbles. "You don't get to choose whether you're the next Night's Own Wings."
The end table stretches into one of the many tables on the well-worn hardwood floor. The bed vanishes when Modemoiselle takes the quilt off and swishes it into a checkered tablecloth. She catches the Raveness in a chair as she's shunted back to human form. "You had the red, if I recall." Liquid glass pours from the ceiling into a wine glass shape. A blonde waitress with a telltale pink streak dutifully fills it with wine.
"We didn't disarm the bomb, did we?" She sighs as a lasagna plops from the sky in layers.
The world's most sarcastic game show bell rings from everywhere and nowhere. "Give the lady a prize! If you get two more right, you'll win a trip to fabulous Hawaii!"
"So the whole city is under your spell?"
"Ooh, good guess. You did, though sheer luck, manage to disable the dispersal unit and most of the sonic components. So the damage was limited to the handful of people in the clock tower. Which, lucky for me, includes all your little crimefighting friends."
The restaurant collapses. The floors wipe from wood to glass, revealing the thick trunks of wire and tangle of machinery pulsing with power just beneath their feet. The walls push out into the darkness beyond even what the Night's Own Wings could see. The floor opens, and five pods rise into view. "See anyone you know?"
Raveness steps up to the sleek, curved-glass pods. She saw her friends- the four other members of the Merci City Victors- with their eyes closed. The digitally hypnotic tones of Modemoiselle's voice barely leaks through the glass. A steady stream of pink musk trickles into their lungs. Her fists thud harmlessly against the glass. Her raven form's beak makes a very cute little "tink!" sound.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, dear. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to break the supervillain's evil machine while your friend's still in it? Not only do you not know what'll happen, she just might decide to retaliate." Modemoiselle swishes her tail against the last pod in the row. Raveness rushes over to see herself, bombarded by the same subliminals and breathing the same hypnotic smoke.
Modemoiselle snaps her fingers. The gas turns from a thin pink wisp to thick, choking clouds. The girl in the pod clenches her thighs. A distinct wet spot develops on her suit and the other girl follows close behind. They moan in sweet, blissful unison~
The music gets louder. Raveness would almost be able to hear it through the glass if it wasn't pulsing through her head. The most vapid, bubbly pop music you could imagine. Cancelling out any sort of intelligent thought like how acids turn bases into simple, inert water. Modemoiselle's tail swishes to support her birdbrain's chin, and she happily sinks into it. Every now and again, she moans and struggles, but how do you beat an enemy that's in your brain and armed with an orgasm button? Especially one with such a lovely, soft tail. And who smells so wonderful. And who has such an amazing voice. The kind of voice you could just float on forever.
"That's better. You know, you never struck me as a bird. I always thought you'd be happier as something more… useful." She snaps her fingers. The pod lights up with the orange glow and the telltale whir of stolen genetic technology. Raveness, of course, was far too busy emptily snuggling into the softest tail anyone's ever felt.
Raveness's body slowly slips into light again, but no feathers form. No beak pierces the light. She grows a long, dopey muzzle, the better to cuddle into Miss Modemoiselle's tail with. Her short black hair poofs and bounces into a big, healthy black bouffant with a pink swirl coiling into the middle. Pink circuitry pokes into her brown eyes and makes them big, bright, and brainwashed! Miss Modemoiselle looks so much better through pony eyes than silly human or bird ones! Golden brown fur washes over her body and seal off her hands and feet into silly, soft hooves. Much better for hugging Miss with and giving her rides! A big ol' black and pink tail with countless bouncy curls springs from the base of her spine.
"You make an awfully pretty pony, dear. I've outdone myself~" Modemoiselle coos, watching her musk empty out the rest of her newest pet's head.
"What else would I be, Miss?" She snuggles into the tail, eyelids heavy but determined to admire her Miss as much as possible. "I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't your pop star pony!" She lazily swishes her tail while the music in her head becomes the quiet background to her thoughts. Always there to remind her who she belonged to and what she loved to do more than anything.
"And what does that entail, dear~?" Modemoiselle teased.
"It means I get up on stage with all my friends and we all listen to the music and put on the best show we can! We all loooove performing for you!" She eagerly wags her pony tail. Her flanks proudly display her purpose in life- a microphone in front of her Miss's circuit heart logo.
"Perfect." Modemoiselle rewards her pretty pony with a kiss on the forehead. Her big pink eyes flutter shut.
Back in the real world, a pod opens, letting pink fog spill out onto the ground. A ponygirl with a delicious golden brown coat, freshly grown hair, and absolutely no clothes to hide her horse cock climbs out.
"Wakey wakey, dear~" Modemoiselle coos. "How'd you sleep?"
]]>You pull your shirt over your nose as a filter and hurry past. A voice calls from behind you. "Aren't you gonna look?"
You walk into the alley. A girl in a striped pink hoodie sandwiches her skunk tail between her back and the wall.
She tucks her can of spray paint into her pocket. "Well, what do you think?" You look at her, then behind her. Expertly painted onto the wall is… you. Same clothes, same hair, but featuring a big, fluffy skunk tail that bounces above your head. Signed '<3, Lulubelle'.
You point at it, confused. She smiles. "Well, we can fix that." You hear the can spraying behind you. "How's that?" She presses your soft new tail against the back of your head. You turn around to take a look and it's so hard to think.
She's smothering your brain into silence with your big new skunk tail. A different kind of spray soaks into your soft new tail. Not paint. Sweet and seductive. Soaking into the lovely tail you always had. Rubbing your cute little ears.
Every breath fogging your cute little skunk brain more and more.
She pushes you onto your butt. Your tail threads between your legs and presses against your face. You breathe in lungfuls of mind-melting musk and sink further into your own tail's soft embrace.
You barely notice when Lulubelle tugs on your tail and leads you out of the alley. Your head is full of her divine musk, and your hands are wandering into your pants.
You're too brainwashed to do anything but get kinda aroused by being led down the sidewalk in the middle of the night by your big, fluffy skunk tail. By being told what a good punky skunk you are. And by coming your brains out on a statue she doesn't like in three, two, spray~
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